February

Kaveh Akbar's poems are forthcoming in The New Yorker, Poetry, Ploughshares, Tin House, and elsewhere. He is the author of the chapbook Portrait of the Alcoholic (Sibling Rivalry Press), and his first full-length collection, Calling a Wolf a Wolf, will be published in Fall 2017 by Alice James Books.

Read our review of Portrait of the Alcoholic.

DESUNT NONNULLA

originally appearing in The Bennington Review

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as a child I wasn’t so much foreign as I was very small      my soul 
still unsmogged by its station      I walked learning 
the names of things each new title a tiny seizure 
of joy      paleontologist tarpaper marshmallow      I polished them like trophies
eager in delight and colorblind      though I still loved crayons 
for their names cerulean gunmetal and corn- 
flower more than making up for the hues I couldn’t tell apart      even 
our great-grandparents saw different blues owing 
to the rapid evolution of rods and cones      now I resist 
acknowledging the riches I’ve inherited      hard bones and a mind full 
of names      it’s so much easier to catalog hunger to atomize 
absence and carry each bit like ants taking home a meal

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I am insatiable      every grievance levied against me 
amounts to ingratitude      I need to be broken like an unruly mustang 
like bitten skin      supposedly people hymned before names      their mouths 
were zeroes little pleasure portals for taking in grape 
leaves cloudberries the fingers of lovers      today words fly 
in all directions      I don’t know how anyone does 
anything      I miss my mouth sipping coffee and spend 
the day explaining the dribble to strangers who patiently 
endure my argle-bargle before returning 
to their appetites      I am not a slow learner      I am a quick forgetter      
such erasing makes you voracious      if you teach me something 
beautiful      I will name it quickly before it floats away

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