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TSP

Session One Anthology

MENTOR: CATHY LINH CHE

won't you celebrate with me

Emily Bang

after lucille clifton

mom says i’m bird boned

collarbones thrust like wings

peeking over big coats and sweaters supposed to hide

curves that draw and surprise

my own body i know i should love always felt too small too soft

to shout or plant or turn away

i told you my favorite trees are redwoods

when a grandma tree dies

babies shoot up in a circle from her roots

you laughed

but i know my height

i stand on the shoulders of giants to see far

some afternoon we tossed a frisbee and i sprinted past

stretched my hand caught the pass

you laughed and said you get it

how those towering trunks shoot through my spine

today the sun hangs and squints through wisps

sixty-six degrees, he made it

we sprawl up from the couch and kick off our slippers

walk a block down the street

run down the steps

knees bobbing in quick time

straight yelling into the pacific

golden kelp forests swirl scratch our belly

seawater numbs and sprays

when big waves crash over us frothing we dive deep

let our toes uncurl from the rocks

i’m just in my sports bra

feeling good feeling great

i feel the sun browning my shoulders

and mom’s freckles on my cheeks

kelp twists round my hips waves in my hair

to the little houses and palms

peeking high over the cliff

~

Emily Bang was born in California and grew up in the land of oak. Her first experience writing was an attempt at survival - she was about the ripe age of three and a half and on the run from a motorcycle gang. When she was thirteen, she discovered how she wanted to use her writing - she was going to make millions as the lead singer/songwriter of a punk/emo band. She performed her first single, “Splinter Fountains,” at the school talent show and received rave reviews. Throughout high school, she continued to write songs. Her college statement was a variation on one of her songs, “Four years, your fears”.

VIOLETS, MY OFFERING

Jake Matkov

So often I think – my life as arpeggios – Within

gaps rise a crescendo I fumble – forward into B.’s

touch reminds my body – of hummingbirds their flight –

Movement – he enters my body – does not like that

which comes out – inside me the music set

to his watch – I have held onto far too long –

The postcard I write – no sound ruptures what light

floods slanted – downwards the bed – He says nothing

I am – will ever whisper beautiful in his ears –

Still – He steeps our days – in blues & greens

where I wade myself – violet flowers freckle

the riverside – All is alive around me I feel –

no death – I show B. the wind – He tells me to not

make a big deal –

~

Jake Matkov writes poetry in Brooklyn, NY. His poems have been published in fields magazine, voicemail poems, Maudlin House, thosethatthis, and others. A 2015-16 Queer/Art/Mentorship fellow, he is currently at work on a manuscript of poems examining trauma and memory and a long poem exploring shame, silence, disease, queerness, and his body.

Watching the Wagah Closing Ceremony

Preeti Kaur Rajpal

i watch peacocks strut 

soldiers kick legs into air 

fly cutting each other’s wire 

rifles click the countries’ teacups 

i sit with the indians 

instead of with the american 

the view of the circus 

the wall electric with nuclear 

ash left on the other side 

flags rising falling the breath 

my family dead by 47 

the gates pulled down at sunset 

~

Preeti Kaur Rajpal is a poet from California. She has most recently been published in Spook Mag and Jaggery Lit.

in turbans and khaki salute

paper kites that neighbor children

scissors in the wheat sky

clacking cheer of the border  

under august’s only sun

tourists in the VIP booth

clear from the map unrolled

blood running the great-grandmother’s

grand trunk our hair’s wheel

borders inherited the sugar

tumbling pigeons who cross god

the light scattering in half

ode to embrace

Alex Huang

your arms open like an envelope

and clamp as if they were jaws,

 

our heartbeats become orators of great poets,

Strom and Rilke and Angelou,

 

their words ring earthquake in my ribcage,

and then i feel you terraform me,

 

your eyes make moaning oceans

and your breath the atmosphere,

 

and on this wonderland

we raise a temple

 

and pray in it,

we serenade it,

 

and even before we

even think about

 

tearing it down,

we imagine the rain in it,

 

behind you,

a train is docked at its station,

 

but its departure is delayed,

and though we know

 

we have less than forever,

we keep building all the same,

 

we speak to the air, it smiles,

we defy entropy, it seethes,

 

and in our transcendence we become

our best attempt at holy,

 

we speak to time like an old friend,

she tells us that

 

the best place to love

is in a black hole,

 

that the world we have created

can never exist but in transit,

 

we love anyways, in our weakness,

we love anyways, our weakness,

 

and until the wheels begin to turn

and we return to our own flesh,

 

we are never not scholars

of each other’s universe,

 

and if we have to leave

having learned one lesson,

 

it is that sacred can never wither

in memory.

~

Alex Huang is a student at Williams College. Born in California but raised in Shanghai, China, he considers home to be his mother’s cooking. He has almost four years of experience performing spoken word poetry and is a former president of Williams' spoken word poetry club, SpeakFree. His biggest dreams are having an exhibition at the MoMA and owning a dog. (One is easier than the other.) You can contact him about any and everything at acp.huang@gmail.com.

gardening

huiying b. chan 陳慧瑩

i lean down to touch my toes in tai chi

 

嫲嫲 sits in the dark mahogany chair from when we used to live together

her radio sings cantonese & static on am1480

together they begin, 落花满天蔽月光

 

her voice budges tectonic plates,

mountains begin to rise.

 

my back is a boulder hardening me for years now.

 

嫲嫲's eldest sister sits at home in 開平

perhaps next to her radio, too, singing cantonese, 借一杯附荐凤台上

does she still remember?

                                               

i remember to inhale deeply

                                                                        in 

                                                                                                  out

 

嫲嫲 shuffles to the kitchen,

hands submerged under running water

帝女花带泪上香,  her melody draws out the last word

she is five again.

 

gliding seemlessly from

cupped over carrot slices to

shifting the pot's handle just a little to the right

are her mother's hands.

 

her hands summon clouds of starch in the rice water

her mother's caress spinach leaves under the trickling tap

together their voices softly sing, 愿丧生回谢爹娘

 

she siphons the starch water into the bucket behind her

outside the chickens two-step dance around their shingle house

she smiles remembering the grandmothers she greeted in the rice fields

grateful there were clouds for them today.

 

the radio crackles, 偷偷看, 偷偷望

hands submerged under the creek of running water 

she is seventy five again.

 

i reach down to touch my toes in tai chi

the sudden breeze brings the rush of

catching down hill winds

to the lake of crystals multiplying before me.

 

                   sunlight washes over me                                    

 

at home, 嫲嫲 conducts her symphony

the orchestra sings, 渠带泪带泪暗悲伤

she bows to the jingle of the keys around her neck

grandfather's soft snoring, a standing ovation.

 

slipping on her sandals,

she creaks open the door to her garden.

 

it was her all along who taught dad how to tend flowers.

 

as she crouches

below

the small canopy of leaves,

           brushing

                      them

       aside,

 

she thinks about home.

 

she slowly walks up the steps

shuffles past 爺爺

 

three chubby cherry tomatoes

cupped in her palms,

 

and remembers, just for a moment,

of doing the same when she was younger

 

how it was her village that first taught her

how to grow a garden.

 

sunlight turns gold the crevices between the canopy of leaves

i reach up, slowly,

hands intertwined to the sky.

~

帝女花 is one of the most popular cantonese operas in china and of the cantonese diaspora. it is still performed in chinese theaters and sung in chinatown's parks. it tells the story of a princess from the ming dynasty and her lover. her father is overthrown by revolutionists and she is separated from her lover until they meet again. included in this poem is an excerpt my grandmother 嫲嫲 sings.

         

   帝女花   dai neoi faa   never say goodbye              

translation by han keat lim 林汉杰

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

~

Huiying Bernice Chan 陳慧瑩 is a writer, community organizer, and dreaming dandelion from New York City. Huiying has organized and emceed open mics in Boston and grew a student movement for Ethnic Studies at Wellesley College. Huiying is deeply rooted in New York's Chinatown and has worked to fight urban displacement through community organizing and the arts. Huiying's most recent writing has been published in Project As[I]Am and Asian American Writers' Workshop Open City Magazine. Huiying is currently traveling to and writing about Chinatowns and the Chinese diaspora around the world through a post-graduation fellowship.

落花满天蔽月光    

     

借一杯附荐凤台上  

   

帝女花带泪上香  

       

愿丧生回谢爹娘  

        

偷偷看, 偷偷望    

     

渠带泪带泪暗悲伤      

我半带惊惶                

怕驸马惜鸾凤配          

                                         

 

不甘殉爱伴我临泉壤  

                                             

lok faa mun tin bai jyut gwong     

         

ze jat bui fu zin fung toi soeng  

                                          

dai neoi faa daai leoi soeng hoeng      

                                     

jyun song sang wui ze de noeng                   

                                        

tau tau hon, tau tau mong     

                                        

keoi daai leoi daai leoi am bei soeng   

ngo bun daai ging wong            

paa fu maa sik lyun fung pui                   

                                           

 

bat gam seon oi bun ngo lam cyun joeng  

                                                                                                              

falling petals fill the atmosphere, obscuring the

moon from view

with a cup of wine, i offer my respects to

my ancestors

this flower-like daughter of a king,

tearfully offers incense

in gratitude to my parents, i willingly

give my life

secretly, i steal a glance, stealthily i steal

a look

he is tearful, tearfully hiding his sorrow

i'm half afraid, fearful that   

my prince would value his

position too much to give up

everything

and journey with me to the 

next world

Why Resurrect It All Now: A Golden Shovel after Theresa Hak Kyung Cha’s Dictée

Sophia Terazawa

1.

 

You leave you come back to the shell left empty all this time. To claim to reclaim, the

space.

 

You must atone.

Leave the marks for what

You stole, a dried chrysanthemum.

 

Come to shrine.

Back step like apologies

To sisters long forgotten. Count

 

The strikes upon brass bells.

Shell the meat, honor whatever’s

Left behind, a wishing bone inside

 

Empty cages.

All that talk of nations

This time healing as though

Time is all that’s needed for a man

 

To say, “I’m sorry.”

 

Claim this mine.

To heat the water.

Reclaim how it scalds the tongue,

The absence of my sisters scratching

 

Space beneath a throat.


 

2.

 

Into the mouth the wound the entry is reverse and back each organ artery gland pace

element, implanted, housed skin upon skin, membrane, vessel, waters, dams, ducts,

canals, bridges.

 

We had crawled toward the wreckage and into

its belly where once pelicans nested among the

vertebrae before bones lost nutrition. Its mouth

was missing all its fangs. We wondered if the

mythic snake could talk before it died. A wound

about the size of a cherry tomato dotted the

ground before it, where something forcing entry

must have shot a warning. My memory is

sure of this, the tsuchinoko, a child in reverse

pounding on gravel, growing hooves, antlers and

a wind pipe. We were warned not to look back

especially when it called our names, and each

time it did, our hearts grew weak. The organ

sunk inside us like a sword falling upon an artery

before the gates of heaven. One by one each gland

opened in our bodies red poppies at a pace

unfathomable to history, to feel that human element

of air as torture, mother, language. We implanted

garlic on our tongues, became that empire housed

within some sacred text. We bound it, too, with skin

from eel to fawn, declared these sins passed upon

our daughters, nectarine, ginger root and skin

of lizards from an army camp, whose membrane

long abandoned catches shoreline breeze, a vessel

for the occupation between Nippon and its waters

never were we quiet to the quiet building dams

we buckled under. Resurrect it all, these ducts

and lullabies, the arrogance of stone, canals

along Busan, from wine to men, blood bridges.

~

Sophia Terazawa is the author of I AM NOT A WAR (Essay Press, 2016).

From the desert

Cathy Linh Che

I drove clear through the snow. It’s been three years since

I lived off of no money, fueled only by the currency of feeling.

It is cruel, the way life is

one disappointment stacked atop of the first.

Oh, love. Is it God who

makes the organs thrum? The regretful self pays

for years for giving over to that rich music. Any

fool can get into an ocean, but it takes a hero to pay attention

to the task at hand. Self-care, self-care! Drive the exercise bike to

your shelter in the woods. Return prepared for all the winter fixings: the

pines, the cobalt sky, a flat lake. Nature’s own brilliant syntax.

If I believed in God, I’d succumb to the belief in the order of

things.

Only, my days resist order. Chaos and the will

needed to tame it. It’s too much. The soul never

listens. I want to live wholly

in this body. I kiss

my own hand sometimes when I think of you.

~

Cathy Linh Che is the author of the poetry collection, Split (Alice James Books), winner of the Kundiman Poetry Prize, the Norma Farber First Book Award from the Poetry Society of America, and the Best Poetry Book Award from the Association of Asian American Studies. Contact Cathy at cathylinhche [at] gmail [dot] com.

PHOTO CREDIT: ALEX MEDIATE

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